Well done for at least trying to distinguish the examples. The major difference with gay people is that they insist on the one hand that sexual orientation may not be used as a criterion for excluding them - from a "straight rugby team", a "straight golf club" - but that on the other hand they themselves may use sexual orientation as criteria for excluding people. Similarly with the members of the Irish ex-pats group - they are consider it perfectly appropriate that they will be excluded from an American ex-pats club, or a French ex-pats club. Similarly the work based social/sports club - they consider the commonality of working together to be a reasonable basis for forming a club -while they exclude those who don't work in the organisation, they are not seeking to join the work-based groups of other organisations. The Womens Group consider it is acceptable to include/exclude people on the grounds of sex - its member will not complain at being excluded from a mens group. All of those groups consider that the criteria for entry to the groups are valid as means of excluding/including people.
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